A Lot Ado About Making Love With Lesbians | Autostraddle

February 12, 2024

It has been a large few days for homosexual-related first person narratives in liberal-and-feminist-but-mostly-heterosexual guides!

Our first piece comes to us via xojane, the ladies’s web site headed right up by Jane Pratt (my personal hero)

(I’m really serious) of




Entitled ”
I’m a Lesbian Pillow Princess
,” this portion falls under the “it simply happened in my opinion” function which also existed at JANE mag and is made up mainly of writer/reader-submitted accounts of subjectively fascinating private experiences.

The anonymous author of this piece, which we’ll contact “Ariel,” is really bisexual, but because she conveniently supplies hit tasks to the woman male associates but does not time or frequently go lower on females, the woman is, she clarifies, commercially, only a ”


Pillow Princess.” (She in addition identifies by herself as “mostly right” and “straight” at some other things for the narrative.) The woman reputation began, she explains, whenever her very first lesbian hookup — a smokin’ hot dyke called Kelly at her university — transpired on her behalf for an hour. She la-la-la-loved it and straight away fled the scene fearing her very own failure to execute this type of fantastic cunnilingus upon Kelly for such a protracted time frame.

She produces:

“not surprisingly, term got around that she and I also had installed hence I’d kept the lady hanging, which in fact had the peculiar aftereffect of offering myself folk-heroine position. Kelly labeled as me a “pillow princess,” and henceforth, I happened to be one. It was like some form of movie conceit the spot where the champion is actually mistaken for a celebrity and reaches drive in a limo and stay in an elegant hotel due to it.”

This it seems that totally exercised within her support, as she romped about in university starting up with many “aggressive kinds just who got off about idea that I became unwilling to try to let a female touch myself.” Post-college, she moved on to the net, where she advertised the lady relaxed condition and sometimes found up with ladies for NSA sex.

Near the end she problematically explains that when hooking up with a lady she actually is maybe not drawn to, she merely closes the woman vision and envisions another person “while [the lesbian] really does the woman thing.” Sometimes it may seem like she desires females for eating the woman away simply because they’re presumably much better at it than the male is. She


go-down on them but “I am not internet dating all of them, and that I do not think I would want my personal fetish corrupted by looking after a person adequate to surrender.”

I wouldnot need to sit close to Ariel on an airplane, but her one-sided intimate experiences are consensual and she actually is merely telling a genuine story of the woman life, thus I’m not really yes what to make of this (and I’m interested to understand what you will be making from it, if something).

Next, on Jezebel (via
The Great Guys Project
) we now have
We Married a Lesbian (and I also’m men)
. The writer, Hugo Schwyzer, “tended getting crushes on the same brand of lady: the star baseball player, the football ahead, the swimmer. Some were lesbians. Some weren’t.” The guy questioned:

The facts that drew me personally so often to ladies who had been same-sex lured? It surely was not the stereotypical male fantasy about what these were doing during sex, and it definitely had nothing in connection with a macho opinion that I could switch a gay woman straight.

In parts, the piece (which really does tred on some stereotypical ground) reminded me within this price from

Girls Nearby

which I cited in a write-up about female masculinity

“…if we had which will make another generalization about lesbian style, it might be that many all of us tend to be incredibly attracted to females, homosexual or straight, breathtaking or not, who seem as though capable resolve on their own.”

The writer fundamentally marries a lesbian whom introduced as right, and he discovered their ensuing sex life getting unsatisfactory. She would not offer him blow jobs and did not enjoy entrance but happily accepted their offerings of cunnilingus. Whenever their own sexless wedding finished in divorce case and a drug relapse (for him), they are apparently thoughtful to his ex-wife’s strive versus marking the woman as misleading (as much for the commenters perform):

She had originate from a conventional family members who have already been seriously embarrassed to own a homosexual son or daughter. She may also have recognized, but performed their better to cover it, possibly wishing that the woman thoughts might transform. Or she might have been like many women I’ve known, and just found the woman correct sexual identification after currently becoming hitched to men.

What exactly is redeeming about that article in my opinion that the writer’s conception of their own gender is mainly free of the standard masculine posturing one might count on in a bit such as this (he also describes themselves as “femmy”). Possibly it appears that method because males therefore seldom reveal wanting powerful, athletic, effective ladies with short hair; but it’s refreshing none the less.

I really don’t fault Hugo or Ariel for advising their unique stories, but it is well worth discussing that both narratives seem to ride throughout the concept that bed room conduct may be the ultimate/only litmus examination of sexuality. Hugo and Courtney enjoy both’s organization, but Hugo alludes to Courtney’s disinterest in entrance as a “warning sign” the guy skipped, whenever entrance is barely a solely heterosexual act (it seems more likely Courtney feared the closeness of penetration with a person she don’t wish as with, yet , you never know) and falling in love, fundamentally, is approximately the vagina but it’s also concerning your cardiovascular system and it’s typically about having passionate feelings. Those enchanting emotions are the thing that converts a hook-up relationship into a relationship, most likely.

Eventually at


we have a sweet tale directly through the pony’s throat —
My Very First Time: Female. 17. Bay Area
. I think here is the first-time the “very first time” series has featured a lesbian.

Generally, in ninth class, the writer confessed to her closest friend that she had lesbian thoughts for her, and her closest friend reciprocated, in addition they proceeded to carry on a stealth lesbian union and they’re nonetheless collectively today and she actually is a grown-up in the armed forces!

This indicates they’ve but to get their commitment out from the cabinet, which can be somewhat puzzling, but whatever

. [


: Looks like this tale ended up being composed before DADT ended up being repealed, though it just adopted published, thus there’s nothing puzzling taking place right here. This is simply straight-up sweet in just about every way, unequivocally.]

The main focus of the piece (which can be extremely precious and nice) is found on the writer’s knowledge of
just what lesbian sex is quite

We’d never gone down on each various other, and I had been confident that is what we would meant as soon as we mentioned we wished to have sex. (Now we know that there’s more to fucking than licking a lady’s vagina and phoning it per day.)

She concludes:

I’m sure that many men and women differ by what virginity way to a gay woman, but virginity is completely subjective, and it also truly relies upon whom you’re asking. Some individuals might say penetration has to be included, but i believe it’s doing the person dropping his or her virginity. If I feel like i have missing my personal virginity, next goddammit, i’ve!

I’ve invested the majority of the day and mid-day observing wordpress, trying to figure out exactly what point I could create about these parts. I thought lots about the reason we’d never release “I became a Lesbian Pillow Princess” on this internet site but can’t see through the reason that I’d worry 50 people would vow not to go back here plus the remaning many-thousands people would combat together about bisexual erasure/lesbian erasure until the heating loss of the market. We envisioned somebody publishing “I found myself a Lesbian Pillow Princess” to you via email and then We envisioned the article meeting in which we might reach that tale and all sorts of say “NO” on the other hand.

In trying to find a time to gleam from these stories, i have attempted to figure out what you’ll believe or say, and I are unable to, and I also would you like to finish this article asap to increase the whole process of me learning what you believe about these tales. Yup, for the first time ever since starting Autostraddle, I had gotten no idea what you should state about something. So possibly i will just ask you to answer — what exactly is your own reaction to these pieces?

Prior to going!

It prices cash to produce indie queer news, and frankly, we want a lot more people in order to survive 2023

As many thanks for REALLY maintaining you lively, A+ users obtain access to extra content material, added Saturday puzzles, and!

Do you want to join?

Cancel when.

Join A+!

top article

Posted in Uncategorized